I know I havent written for a veryyy long time, though my initial promise to myself was to write every week !
But i just dint find the inclination..thoda tha, par itna nahi..so just dint..
But today i experienced something deep..that i would like to share here ..
A quick background info 1st :
Well, so in July 2010 I played this tournament in Benasque, Spain. I was 21 years old & it was the 1st time that I had planned to play a few tournaments in Europe - on my own - unlike with this whole team , which is what we normally do. So well ofcourse i was very excited esp since Benasque was the 1st of these 4 tournaments. Also benasque is a very beautiful & picturesque "hillstation" with exactly the kind of "ambience" that i preferred at that time - green hills & flowing rivers ! But i doubt if i would have felt any less happier or excited had it been the 91st time that i was travelling on my own ( cause 100 is always special rite ) or had benasque been this awefully boring town. As i was just in a happy space in my life then. I was in loooooveeee with chess and I loved just being able to play chess. I remember I made A LOT of good friends in this tournament..I was not much bothered about my immediate results etc. I was hunting for my final IM norm at this time, & i happened to miss it & I dint even win a prize actly, but I was sure it was just a matter of time before that I started achieving my dreams !
ME AT BENASQUE :)
( my t shirt reads "beautiful inside" :) )
Many times in the past 4 years i have longed to go back to that moment and be that person again. So confident, happy & thankful for this life - for no seemingly obvious reason ! Sure, I was the reigning World junior champion , but I had also lost rating in ALL the tournaments that i played in post world juns ! So many times, especially after a bad tmt, i I have longed to go back to that time , that mindset..been jealous of that 21 year old me.
( On a side note : Maybe 21 year olds generally feel more confident as they havent experienced much of life yet but think they do, as they are not 'juniors' any more ? Also, my feelings about my former self maybe a bit exaggerated as I once read that we have a tendency to romanticise the past..well anyway u got the picture. )
One speciality of my time at Benasque was my daily routine of going for long walks atleast 3 times a day..! morning, afternoon & evening..just to clear my mind & feel good..I remember there was this beautiful "long walk road" of mine..with flowers, & trees, & hills & rivers..
Each time that I walked down this road, I felt so lucky to be able to experience something like this, to come to europe , to be able to be a chessplayer and play chess..I would wonder what can get better than this ?
Well..
So, I m here at solitude for the past 3 months rite ? & there is this HUGE forest behind our academy, have i mentioned that ? Infact this castle was built by the duke so that he & his family could stay here while he went out for his hunting escapades in the forest behind..& well, a lot of people go for walks in the forest so even i would have followed in my 1st month , had it not been for "The Legend of the Hungarian Guy & the Wild Pig " . Well so there was this hungarian fellow at solitude last year who was attacked by wild pigs in the forest & had to be hospitalised & sent back to hungary ! I heard his story in my 1st week here, with mixed up details ofcourse, so was super scared of going anywhere near the forest...
A pic I found on the net depicting an aerial view of Solitude surrounded by the forest.
But last week, i finally DARED ! I figured, well every1 goes..so it must be ok..yeah well its not the best policy to follow the herd but sometimes it works out fine. So follow I did :) & since i have seen bhaag milkha bhaag now & also have access to the songs from that movie, I regard jogging / running to be a better form of exercise than walking these days. So I decided to go for a jog in the forest..& i try to go everyday now..well its the most surreal beautiful liberating experience..
Today as i was about to enter the "solitude forest"..i looked around..it was 6.20 pm..so the moon was out , a full moon at that ! but it wasnt dark yet..there was the golden glow of the sun, which made the trees look half brown & half orange..huge talll thin trees on both sides & so many pathways in between..providing u with so many crossroads & choices..i just go straight as this awesome inspiring music i am listening to keeps saying "bas tu bhaag milkha " .. so i dont think and just run. I pause it from time to time to listen to the sounds of the forest..its eery / calm / chirpy..it could be anything u want actually :) there is even a cute little cottage in middle of the forest & its open in day time - so u can sit there & read a book & have tea .. & u know whats the best feeling ? The best feeling is to run all the way & reach this particular point - & look around. Usually there are a lot of people running & cycling on those tracks but they keep moving rite - so when I reach this place & look around, theres no one.. & i can simply gaze till very very far in all the four directions, with me in the centre, as if I have conquered something. It makes me feel like the HERO of my movie!
Had a full moon today evening
So today evening, just as I was about to enter the forest and was thinking about all that I was going to experience inside, it hit me - THIS TOPS BENASQUE MAN !
No more regrets about leaving benasque behind anymore ;
:)
Sorry , the pics from the forest are not so great as i took them from my phone and it was evening already..Will upload better pics as soon as i take some :)
But i just dint find the inclination..thoda tha, par itna nahi..so just dint..
But today i experienced something deep..that i would like to share here ..
A quick background info 1st :
Well, so in July 2010 I played this tournament in Benasque, Spain. I was 21 years old & it was the 1st time that I had planned to play a few tournaments in Europe - on my own - unlike with this whole team , which is what we normally do. So well ofcourse i was very excited esp since Benasque was the 1st of these 4 tournaments. Also benasque is a very beautiful & picturesque "hillstation" with exactly the kind of "ambience" that i preferred at that time - green hills & flowing rivers ! But i doubt if i would have felt any less happier or excited had it been the 91st time that i was travelling on my own ( cause 100 is always special rite ) or had benasque been this awefully boring town. As i was just in a happy space in my life then. I was in loooooveeee with chess and I loved just being able to play chess. I remember I made A LOT of good friends in this tournament..I was not much bothered about my immediate results etc. I was hunting for my final IM norm at this time, & i happened to miss it & I dint even win a prize actly, but I was sure it was just a matter of time before that I started achieving my dreams !
( my t shirt reads "beautiful inside" :) )
Many times in the past 4 years i have longed to go back to that moment and be that person again. So confident, happy & thankful for this life - for no seemingly obvious reason ! Sure, I was the reigning World junior champion , but I had also lost rating in ALL the tournaments that i played in post world juns ! So many times, especially after a bad tmt, i I have longed to go back to that time , that mindset..been jealous of that 21 year old me.
( On a side note : Maybe 21 year olds generally feel more confident as they havent experienced much of life yet but think they do, as they are not 'juniors' any more ? Also, my feelings about my former self maybe a bit exaggerated as I once read that we have a tendency to romanticise the past..well anyway u got the picture. )
One speciality of my time at Benasque was my daily routine of going for long walks atleast 3 times a day..! morning, afternoon & evening..just to clear my mind & feel good..I remember there was this beautiful "long walk road" of mine..with flowers, & trees, & hills & rivers..
Each time that I walked down this road, I felt so lucky to be able to experience something like this, to come to europe , to be able to be a chessplayer and play chess..I would wonder what can get better than this ?
Well..
So, I m here at solitude for the past 3 months rite ? & there is this HUGE forest behind our academy, have i mentioned that ? Infact this castle was built by the duke so that he & his family could stay here while he went out for his hunting escapades in the forest behind..& well, a lot of people go for walks in the forest so even i would have followed in my 1st month , had it not been for "The Legend of the Hungarian Guy & the Wild Pig " . Well so there was this hungarian fellow at solitude last year who was attacked by wild pigs in the forest & had to be hospitalised & sent back to hungary ! I heard his story in my 1st week here, with mixed up details ofcourse, so was super scared of going anywhere near the forest...
But last week, i finally DARED ! I figured, well every1 goes..so it must be ok..yeah well its not the best policy to follow the herd but sometimes it works out fine. So follow I did :) & since i have seen bhaag milkha bhaag now & also have access to the songs from that movie, I regard jogging / running to be a better form of exercise than walking these days. So I decided to go for a jog in the forest..& i try to go everyday now..well its the most surreal beautiful liberating experience..
The pathway from Solitude which leads up to the forest
In the day
Today evening
The running track
Had a full moon today evening
So today evening, just as I was about to enter the forest and was thinking about all that I was going to experience inside, it hit me - THIS TOPS BENASQUE MAN !
No more regrets about leaving benasque behind anymore ;
" There are far far better things ahead than the ones we leave behind "
- C.S. Lewis.
Sorry , the pics from the forest are not so great as i took them from my phone and it was evening already..Will upload better pics as soon as i take some :)
